Overcoming Distress in Everyday Life

August 20th, 2009

As a family physician I continually meet patients that come to me with physical complaints.  Almost 100% of the time, they only think of some pill or physical therapy that can help them feel better physically, not considering that if they felt better emotionally, they might feel better physically.  I am constantly amazed how little people consider  or are aware of  the emotional factors going on in their lives.

Here is an example of what I mean that happened one morning earlier this month with woman patient I met at a walk-in clinic where I was working.  When I first stepped into the examining room I noticed the patient (let me call her ‘Nancy’) was holding her head very stiffly and she appeared to be in pain.  Sure enough her story was that she woke a few days previously with a lot of muscle spasm and pain in her neck.  There was no physical reason for this – no strain or injury from the previous day.  She had taken over-the-counter muscle relaxant and anti-inflammatory medications, and even had had massage therapy, to no avail.  Her condition was worsening.  She was not sleeping, and her whole head was feeling tight and painful.  It was even painful to breath as it brought on more tension into her neck.

On my medical examination, I noted a lot of muscle spasm and tenderness in the neck area and upper back, and a marked reduction in her neck movement.  Nancy had very restricted movement of her neck equally to both right and left as well as upward and downward.  My medical diagnosis was straight forward – wry neck syndrome – spasm in the neck muscles limiting movement.

I could have stopped there, prescribed stronger medication and referred her back for more massage – the standard physical treatment plan.  However, I wanted to help Nancy uncover the reason for why she was experiencing wry neck at this time in her life.  Our conversation went something like this:

Dr. Johnson -  Tell me, have you been distressed lately by something?
Nancy -  Not more than usual.  ( but I don’t take this first response seriously. I ask again because I know how unaware people are.)
Doctor – Are you sure?  Was there possibly something that upset you the evening before the morning you woke with pain?  A phone conversation you had, for example?
Now Nancy is showing some emotion.  Her face has become flushed.  She is close to tears.   So I ask her what is happening for her.
Nancy -  My son called telling me that he didn’t think he could carry on with his marriage.  I fear they are going to separate.  They only just got settled in their community and they have a young child.  I asked my son to find a way to stay together.
(after a pause Nancy tells me more)
The thing is his wife is like a daughter and a friend.  I just don’t know what to do!
Doctor -  I see that if you move to help one, you pull support from the other.
Nancy – I feel caught in the middle.  I don’t know what to do.  I feel helpless.  I want my grandchild to have a full family.
Doctor – Do you not see that your neck condition is mirroring what is happening for you emotionally – being stuck in the middle, not being able to turn either left or right, or any which way?  (more tears from Nancy and nodding her head in agreement)

By this time Nancy is visibly moving her neck more fully and she confirmed that her level of pain and tension had lessened.  I went on to remind her that she could not fix the situation for her son and his family.  It wasn’t her job.  Nancy agreed that she had tended to try to sort out problems for others.  She had to let go and let ‘God’ (whatever her view of some higher power or grace).  The best she could do was send loving thoughts or prayers for the very best outcome for everyone concerned.

In addition to prescribing medication, I encouraged her to do some simple visualization and relaxation and to practice breathing deep and slow into her belly – using her diaphragm.  I could see she was breathing high up in her chest, using her neck and upper chest muscles to breath – a stress pattern of breathing that increases the tension in the neck muscles and is not effective in getting oxygen into the  bulk of the blood that flows in the bottom half of the lung.  More tension, less oxygen into the body means less energy, less ability to think, and more emotional stress – a natural vicious circle.   I told Nancy that I probably have helped more people with stress and anxiety by teaching them to use their diaphragm to breath than most every other ‘treatment’.

The above true story demonstrates the intimate link between how we feel emotionally and how we are physically.  When we learn to heed the messages from both our emotions and our physical body, we open pathways to healing ourselves, not just for minor physical distress but for disease as well.

For more tips on overcoming adversity and support to face challenge in your life, I invite you to get a copy of a free ebook called  Overcoming Adversity with Grace that I have contributed to, along with 35 other authors as part of our marketing for our  anthology of inspiring true stories coming out at the end of October.